Lately I feel blank.
Not sure what this is. Some would probably say depression or maybe boredom. I had all this excitement built up in my head around this time and what it would look like once I graduate and get mylife back but now I guess I'm sitting here wondering what exactly IS my life now?
Maybe it will take time to get caught up with finances and then I will feel a little more freedom to do the things I want to do like take kickboxing and yoga and maybe buy some new things for the house. I guess all those things will help me feel like my life is a bit more purposeful than just sitting here wondering what the fuck I'm supposed to do next.
I don't like this apathy though, I know life is much more than this blank feeling. I know there is so much love and happiness and adventure out there waiting for me if I could just find a way to open up to it. Until then, I'll continue to just try everyday to get out of this funk, I will keep thinking of how I know life can be, I will ask the Universe to help me see things in a different perspective.
I may not be asking pretty soon I may be begging.
I GET IT!!!! Isnt it almost like you dont have enough going on? When I first lost my job, I thought at least I will have more time do things I have been wanting to do, then it only gave me more time to think and process things Ive been pushing aside for years. It may not feel like it, but there is a lot to look forward to. You can always stay here, It was only 102 degrees today, glad its cooled off this weekend. Hurry, I'll get the baby oil out and we can work on our tans at the water park. But lets only stay 10 hours instead of 12, I dont want to over-do it you know,
ReplyDeleteHaha, I still wonder what I'll look like when I'm 80 and that 3rd degree sunburn catches up to me. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteI think your right, I have too much time now to sit and think which is not always a good thing for me. Busy is better. Just haveto find new things to keep me busy now and stop wishing I had what I don't have.