Monday, June 21, 2010

draw diggity draw

This my excavation, today is kumran
Everything that happens is from now on.
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed
I keep throwing it down two-hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone and you're drunk as hell
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down in a frozen ground
There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed and he's dangling my keys he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?
This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me
-Bon Iver


Invariably, Elizabeth, a sudden disappointment, a bit of "bad" news, or a flock of butterflies gathering in your stomach, are all omens that a fabulous adventure is fast approaching.
Hit me baby,
The Universe

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

the Universe listens

It sure does work in mysterious ways. Although I have always had a knack to be able to invoke what I need simply by asking or putting it out there some things in my life just simply don't work out because I know on some level I have negative thoughts or feelings attached to it. This has gotten the best of me lately, the other day being a culmination of that leading to a sort of a break down. But there is beauty in the breakdown. It forces us to see that somehing is wrong. The other day the accumulation of my negative thinking and months of trying to rid my life of the loss I felt by accepting the loss simply didn't work anymore. I needed help. I needed an answer.
Of course I found it. That night I opened up one of my Wayne Dyer books tonight in bed and opened it up directly to a page that said : Decontaminating your mind fields of energy. Whoa. Talk about exactly what I needed to read. It's nothing I have not heard before but needed the reminder. Our thoughts create our reality and negative thoughts are a bullshit waste of time and affect us and everyone else around us. Duh. I was trying so hard to "get over it" I couldn't see that I was making myself miserable. For me, it's not about forgetting or not feeling, it's about seeing things from a loving persepective and knowing that everything is in my life because I need it to be. I am no longer drowning in sorrow and self pity but grateful for an the opportunity that I have to change and grow and maybe face some issues I have never had the insight to face.

Here is what the chapter ends with; He says, I love this idea, finding the track on which God can be found. This is the energy field I am asking you to consider. It is devoid of the lower energies that contaminate our lives and saddle us with illusions we call problems.

Here's to love and "problems" and change..

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Lately I feel blank.

Not sure what this is. Some would probably say depression or maybe boredom. I had all this excitement built up in my head around this time and what it would look like once I graduate and get mylife back but now I guess I'm sitting here wondering what exactly IS my life now?
Maybe it will take time to get caught up with finances and then I will feel a little more freedom to do the things I want to do like take kickboxing and yoga and maybe buy some new things for the house. I guess all those things will help me feel like my life is a bit more purposeful than just sitting here wondering what the fuck I'm supposed to do next.
I don't like this apathy though, I know life is much more than this blank feeling. I know there is so much love and happiness and adventure out there waiting for me if I could just find a way to open up to it. Until then, I'll continue to just try everyday to get out of this funk, I will keep thinking of how I know life can be, I will ask the Universe to help me see things in a different perspective.

I may not be asking pretty soon I may be begging.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

destiny cards


Below is the interpretation for card governing your current 52 day period. The card for Your Destiny has all of the cards for your entire life as well as the cards for everyone you know.
The Basic Meaning of the Nine of Hearts
The Nine of Hearts can be a card of emotional disappointment and personal losses on the affectional level. However, this is the card of completions in love and of 'Universal Love'. Yes, the Nine of Hearts can signal the ending of one or more key relationships. If so, it is most likely that these relationships are no longer doing you any good. It is time for them to end, whether or not you realize this at the time they happen.
However, the Nine of Hearts can also represent our helping others by counseling them or in some way sharing our love and compassion with them. It means a giving of love in a more or less selfless manner.

Friday, June 11, 2010


A couple people have suggested to me to start a blog. Nah. I'm not a writer. What would I even say. My life is not that exciting. Who is even gonna read this?

So here I am. Giving it a go. To talk not so exciting life and other stuff that might come up. I figured it would give me something to do on these nights where I am up late and Tv sucks and I can't quite get into "Eat Pray Love" and the Tao te ching is a little too heavy to read. Everyone else is asleep it seems and I am not....
A couple friends of mine have blogs and they are pretty entertaining to read and filled with beautiful photos and crafty-creative makings...not sure what will fill my blog but it's something new to go along with my something-new-life I am starting.